When Bailey was stillborn, we recieved very little information from the hospital. They did what they could, but didn’t have resources or the information needed to give to us. We felt very alone and knew nothing of what would happen. We were so very lucky to have amazing drs, midwives and pastoral care support, but still felt alone in the processs.
When I became pregnant with Geoffrey Within 3 mths, I was surrounded in fear. Would my baby die? There was no more innocence in pregnancy. No magic 12 week number. We didn’t announce our pregnancy until after 20 weeks when we couldn’t hide any longer. I wanted to make memories with my baby while I could, bond with him, but was scared to, incase he died. How do we explain to our girls. Each appointment full of fear and hope that our baby would be ok. Still grieving the little Baby not in our arms. It was a mixture of emotions, turmoil, fear and hope. I wanted him out as soon as possible so he would be ok. I didn’t trust my body anymore. As a mother this is heartbreaking. With an amazing and supportive Paul, my wonderful OB, regular Councelling, and our Doula we went to 34 + weeks of pregnancy when I gave birth. I know that without that support, my journey and birth would have been very different.
I became a doula to support woman and give them hope, show them how to be free from fear, know their options, support their decisions and to be by their side during their journey. I know that Fear is real, but also that Hope defeats fear. I want to share this Hope with woman and their families.
A Rainbow baby is defined as “a baby born following a miscarriage, stillbirth or loss of a child”
In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. “The beauty of a rainbow doesn’t negate the ravages of a storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or the family isn’t still dealing with grief. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counter balance of colour, energy and Hope ”
When we first see that positive pregnancy test woman are often filled with mixed emotions, and for many fear is one of them, especially after a loss. This needs to change to hope, and Joy, and knowledge that our bodies aren’t broken.
Many woman grow up surrounded by traumatic or pain filled birthing stories. Sometimes it seems the “worse” the story the more they are shared. The media, television and movies all portray birth as scary, painful and unrealistically. Mums waters break, she starts screaming in pain, she starts pushing and within minutes a baby is born. Totally unrealistic and scary. Birth doesn’t have to be this way. Our own experiences can even impact our fears. We have learnt to fear birth, our bodies and the process instead of learning to trust our bodies and working with the sensations.
I believe woman can birth with Hope, without fear and even without pain. Through support, love, hypno-birthing and using different relaxation and coping techniques as well as arming themselves with knowledge, woman and their support partners can achieve a calm, fearless hope filled birth. Even in situations which change, with support any birth can be full of love and peace and hope instead of Fear.
For more information please contact me firstname.lastname@example.org